September 21st 2010

Last week I was invited to join a karate gym by a rather strange man I met at English club.

I seem to have met rather a lot of slightly strange men during my short time here. Men who like to call themselves by their internet nicknames like, Passion, Stylish and DOS Fax (DOS like the operating system, Fax like machine). Men who enjoy karaoke and propose on the 5th date. I’ve even met men who think it’s normal to call their girlfriend 6 times a day and wear matching underwear.

However, this man was especially strange.

I knew he was special when I first introduced him to my co-teacher and he showed her a photo of himself topless before (unsuccessfully) asking her out on a date. He then proceeded to tell me about how, as a child, he used to enjoy not eating, sometimes going two or three days without food - Not something I can easily relate to.

Intrigued by his fascinating weirdness I agreed to start training at his gym.

This week after training he asked me to video him on this phone. Things started off (relatively) normally. He did a few press ups on his thumbs, threw some round house kicks into the heavy bag and punched the wall a couple a times. Then things rapidly degenerated into weird.

I was ushered into the changing room, (still recording on his phone) where he removed his top and proceeded to tense every single muscle in his body before striking a number of body building poses.

After a full muscle quivering minute, finally he gave me sign to stop recording.

Afterwards I asked him what he was going to do with this priceless footage. Apparently he has a date this week and he wants to show the poor woman this video. He’s single... for now.

September 5th, 2010

I've successfully completed my first week teaching, which so far has involved giving the same introductory presentation about myself twenty-two times. I included some choice photos of the Isle of Wight in my slideshow and now all my students believe that the Island is some kind of tropical honeymoon destination.

I also included an ‘Any Question’ section, which the children made full use of, asking me insightful and pertinent questions such as, what is your blood type? How much do you weigh? and do you have a six pack? They are rather cute though. I teach 10 - 13 year olds and as their first foreign teacher, I have achieved something approaching celebrity status. Students follow me to the bathroom and stand outside my office practicing how to ask me what colour my eyes are. After one particularly successful lesson I even spent ten minutes signing autographs for my students. One girl almost fainted when I wrote " I ♥ Football " in her notebook.

I also joined a 6 a side football team this weekend. We had training Saturday and I soon realised that I'd finally found a team that would give me the appreciation I deserved, when my first touch – a defensive up field punt which went out for a goal kick – was actually applauded.

In the showers afterwards I was then subjected to one of the stranger team initiations I’ve experienced. I was invited to get down into a press up position by the captain who then proceeded to wash and rub my back. I then had to repay the 'favour', only he requested that I try not to get his hair wet.

I’ve since been assured that this is totally normal here.

August 29th 2010

So I have finally arrived in Daegu and it’s freaking hot. One of the advantages of this is that because I sweat so much I now only have to go to toilet as much as a normal person. Which is nice.

I met my co-teachers Friday – Mrs Shin, Miss Oh and Miss Young – and visited my school for the first time. My co-teachers are all ridiculously nice. We went out for dinner and Miss Young asked if I wanted to get up at 4 o clock the following morning and drive two hours outside of Daegu with her to take a photo of the sunrise over a harbour. Once I’d stopped laughing and realized she wasn’t actually joking I said yes. Unfortunately due to an inclement forecast we were forced to post phone.

Instead I accepted my other co-teachers invitation to English Club. This is a group of around 25 Korean people who meet once a week for a couple of hours to speak English together - There is however, one other english guy in his 50's who seems quite obviously to be a recovering alcoholic/crack addict, only no-one but me seems to have noticed - Apart from that, it’s very nice and very civilized. Everyone sits on the floor, sipping tea discussing the conversation topics provided.

Afterwards we all went out for drinks, which were slightly less civilised. The night ending with the man sat next to me (who everyone kept calling Kim Jong-il due to his unfortunate resemblance to the diminutive dictator) vomiting into his own hands after downing 18 shots of soju.

Funny in any language.

August 25th 2010

Finally my week long EPIK orientation is almost over. As much as I love my fellow EPIK teachers I'm rather glad it's coming to an end – there are only so many times I can feign enthusiasm as yet another rousing rendition of 'Vindaloo' reverberates around the packed bar, complete with table banging and the sound of smashing glass. Being English, of course everyone looks at me to check that I'm enjoying this homage to my beautiful culture, so I smile weakly, give a thumbs up, and mime a few “Na Na Na's”.

Enough said. Bring on Daegu.

Class photo

I loved it really

August 17th, 2010

I'm currently sitting in 'Lei Cafe' in Beijing airport, being distracted from my nightmarish trip to Korea by possibly the most bizarre 'fruit salad' I've ever had the questionable fortune of eating.

Having been held up so long at Chinese immigration that I missed my connecting flight to Seoul and thus my connecting bus to my university orientation in Jeonju, I thought I would take the time to sit down, and drown my sorrows with a nice cup of coffee and a nice bit of fruit salad.

The fruit salad comes out and it looks incredible. A huge bowl topped with bright red watermelon and a red oval thing. I'm quite excited when I see the red oval thing as I think it must be one of these crazy exotic asian fruits that you always hear about. I eat it first because I'm so excited... It's a tomato.

My brain is struggling to function as it's the equivalent of 4:15am for me and I've been awake for the last 22 hours. But it's definitely a raw tomato. But ok, I think, technically they are within their rights to include a tomato in a fruit salad. It is a fruit after all. So I put this to one side for now and dig into the rest to the bowl.

The topping of watermelon is deliciously crunchy and sweet. My confidence is restored. As I spy the next layer I start to get excited again. It seems to be made up of dragon fruit (or is it kiwi) and mango. I don't know how much the 18RMT I've just paid for this salad is but suddenly it seems like a bargin. I start to think that perhaps I've misjudged this country. Maybe China isn't so bad after all.

Then I start to eat. Firstly the mango isn't mango. I don't know what it is. It's too crunchy to be mango, too tasteless and dense to be pineapple (melon?). I'm left slightly puzzled, but quite frankly, that is the least of my worries. My main concern is that the entire bowl underneath the watermelon and tomato layer, is swimming in what I believe to be salad cream.

I'm practically delirious with fatigue . I turn to the waitress with a look of desperation. She looks at me smiling and nodding, obviously happy with my progress so far. I look back at my bowl of salad cream then back to the waitress. She's still nodding and smiling. Now slightly hysterical, I nod back and start laughing uncontrollably. I stab a salad cream drenched yellow cuboid and stuff it into my mouth. Most of it dribbles out of the side of my mouth as I'm laughing so hard.

The waitress disappears probably to compliment the chef on his fine work. I leave feeling decidedly more upbeat, confident that, I'm ready for whatever Korea can throw at me.

August 10th 2010

One week to go before my scheduled departure and i'm now back in France. My earlier fears of not having enough time here appear to have been unfounded. I've only been home three days and I'm already tired of apologising to my mother for going to Korea.

July 28th 2010

I finished work last week and it's finally beginning to dawn on me that I'm supposed to be in Korea in 17 days time. My mind is still struggling to come to terms with this... as are my parents.

Having finished work, I've spent most of my mornings watching P Diddy's Starmaker in my pants. Those of you who know me will recognise this (anything pant based really) as being one of my favourite pastimes.

I'm running a few days behind schedule, which means I don't get to spend as much time at home in France as I would like, but at least I get to spend a few more days saying goodbye to everyone here in London.

It would appear that I'm going to Korea!